totally needed spell check sorry.

feed her. I followed babywise but really on infants setting to anything right off I'm starting to think is bad If you are breastfeeding feed, when ever and such. There has been major studies just recently that babywise is not always good. And that there is babies that have to be put in the hospital and hard the thrive, even death by parents following this book he is just a parent and not a Dr or specialized in this. It is all over the news yesterday. The author had not comment and that really bugged me. It works great when the baby is older. My son is a babywise baby but he is 9 months old. And i feed him when ever he wanted and it changed over time. at 6 months he was sleeping though the night from 8-9pm until 8-9am I would just feed her as much as she wants look up channel seven detroit.

It could be gas Aidan had bad gas I gave him some gas meds called little stomach it's at babies'r'us it worked like a charm and laying across your lap stomach down. It also could be acid issues aidan had that to it hurts them and they cry and cry. I am just worried at this whole babywise. I loved the book but since this whole thing on the news. It just worries me.

awww what a cute baby. you don't know me but i was just glancing at other journals and yours came up. Look for a brighter tomarrow and smile. Theres always someone out there that will help. I just felt like i had to reach out.

same here you came up randomly, i have a two year old son and what i learned is that when push comes to shove, if the kid is full, dry, and not poopy, make sure they're warm and let em lay in the crib, keep a monitor on them and just try to relax, or.....tell some one else..."i'll give you ten bucks to watch her for a few hours" and you can get some sleep cause your no good to her tired

Let me start off by saying that I don't agree with very much of Babywise. If my post is unwelcome, feel free to ignore or delete (though I'm not being mean and trying not to say much negative). I shouldn't even say everything, but I'm having trouble sleeping because I can't mentally drop the subject, so I'm going to respond anyways.

I also realize that this post is several weeks old, and I hope things are going more smoothly now.

First off, you are NOT a bad parent. You obviously care a lot about your daughter and are trying to do what's best for her. Sometimes newborns cry, and sometimes you can't do anything about it, and you feel like the worst parent on earth, but you aren't. It's just what they do.

I don't know if you're breastfeeding, but if you are and it is important to you to continue, I'd strongly suggest getting a good book on the subject. I don't think that anyone (except perhaps the Ezzos themselves) would call Babywise a great guide to nursing - it may work fine for some lucky moms and babies, but others need demand feeding in order to keep up a decent milk supply. They leave out some key information, like the fact that babies go through growth spurts (and 3 weeks would be just about the time for one), where they'll nurse very frequently (often every hour or so, around the clock) for a few days. This is a GOOD thing - it builds the milk supply to keep up with the baby's increasing need. Many books about breastfeeding are very pro attachment parenting. Please don't let that scare you off - as with any parenting book (including Babywise), take what makes sense to you and leave the rest.

(I have no idea if there is an equivalent growth spurt stage when formula feeding. It's possible there isn't, due to the differences in the way formula and breastmilk are digested.)

As for manipulation...well... at 3 weeks, crying is the baby's way of communicating that it has a need that isn't being met. So to that extent, yes, it is manipulation. The baby is crying in order to get you to do something. The thing is that at this age, a baby's needs and wants are the same thing. A six month old may not want to go to sleep because he wants to continue playing, and therefor may cry for a bit before going to sleep. This isn't true of a three week old. It may be that the need is more emotional than physical (for example, contact with parents rather than hunger), but that doesn't mean it isn't still a need.

I also agree with pura_star that it may be gas/colic, especially if it seems like she's in pain. If you're still having the problem, try bicycling her legs, and gently bending them up to her chest, and see if that helps. Infant anti-gas drops or gripe water might help, too.

Babywise allows for parental discretion. In fact, in responses to the criticism about their infant feeding reccomendations, they claim that the parents were taking the book too literally, and not relying on their own judgement. If you feel that something isn't working for you, change it. You will not break the system as a whole or end up with a terribly spoiled rotten child by conscienciously changing an aspect that isn't working for you. Use Babywise as a guide, but also trust your instincts.

First, and foremost... go through the usuals. Check the diaper, change if necessary. Is her skin inflamed? TREAT IT. Is she hungry? Give her a bottle/ breast and see. When she is full, she will stop. When my boy was first born, every hour we went through this routine, right down to 1/2 to 3/4 fliud ounce milk at each setting(I was expressing milk for bottle use, highly recommended for working mommies to do!) If they start to suckle and stop, repeatedly, offer a pacifier. Studdies have shown a need for non-nutrtive suckling, thus why the pacifier was developed. Andy didn't care for it, every baby is different. After feeding, burping, diapering, and attempting nap time, if she is still restless(You did mention her calming when you were touching her...) she may just want to be held. Quite likely that would be the case. It won't spoil her to hold her when she cries. That is a VERY common misconception. This is the beginning of the mother-daughter relationship, and you are still proving she can trust you, to put it simply. *If baby is absolutely unconsolable check her temperature! It never hurts to rule out fever/illness(T'is the season,no?).
My recommendation is to take that list of books from your mid-wife/ nurse/ Ob-Gyn/ Doctor/ ? what ever, and go to the library, and check out 10 to 15 books. Babies don't come with instruction manuals, nor does any one book seem to exactly cover it. Do your home work, use your judgement.
You're doing fine.
PS I'm not a doctor. I'm a Mom(10 year old boy) with an eidetic memory.

agreed. drop the books. Im not going to flame here.. though I really really want to. Anyway, trust YOUR OWN instincts. Not some guy who writes books. Seriously hun. you may feel like a failure because you are trying to follow what others tell you you should. Dont. Do what your heart tells you to do. Parent with your heart, and your own mind, not everyone else's.

that being said, it sounds like the baby has colic. If this is a consistant time everyday that the baby cries, for 3 or more hours a day.. it's probably colic. Have you tried calling your pediatrician and asking what they suggest? even after hours, they have to be on call and will return your call ASAP.

oh hell, I guess it would have helped if I had bothered to read the date on this post! how did things work out?